The way we feel about something, the way we think about it, and what we do about it are all connected. A change in one often leads to changes in the others.

Imagine this: your behavior is passive, you’re thinking about something negative, and your mood is slightly depressed. Suddenly, the doorbell rings — your thoughts shift. If you decide to answer it, your behavior changes, and depending on what happens when you open the door, your mood may change as well.

This pattern is referred to as the Cognitive Triangle — each part influences the others. Recognizing this relationship helps us understand that by working to change what we think, feel, or do, we can influence the whole system.

In the case of depression, research and clinical experience show that focusing on the behavioral side of the triangle can make a real difference. Simply creating a daily or hourly schedule and doing your best to stick to it — even with small, manageable tasks — can start to lift mood and increase a sense of control. This approach works because taking action, however small, can gradually influence both thoughts and emotions, helping you move toward recovery.

Another important characteristic of the triangle is that strong emotions often lead us to explain or justify them in equally strong ways. For example, if you become very angry after someone cuts you off in traffic, your mind might rush to an extreme explanation — “They did that on purpose!” or “People are so selfish!” The emotion and the thought feed into each other, keeping both at a high level of intensity. It’s a spiraling process that can work in either direction — up or down.

Learning to pause and notice this pattern is the first step toward breaking the cycle. When we calm the emotion and rethink the explanation, we begin to restore balance within the triangle — and ultimately, regain emotional control.